I have been on the Guilt mailing list for as long as I can remember. It’s been my handbag, my pet, my sidekick and my favorite bad habit. Sad, I know, but it’s become so automatic that it’s hard to change.
Last night as I was brushing my teeth I was going over my day. I’ve just recently started a new “schedule” for my week. Structure is important, but as a full-time mommy I don’t get a lot of it. Anyway, yesterday I got all the most important tasks done that I needed to. I exercised, read my scriptures, read to my toddler, cooked for my family, helped the big kids with homework, held my fussy baby, got the dishes done, and even got some business items taken care of. As I brushed my teeth and looked at myself in the mirror I found that I was looking for something to feel guilty about!!! What?! Most days I don’t get all of those things done, especially the exercising and reading scriptures, so I usually have those “guilt items” waiting for me at the end of the day. It was a strange thing to look over my day and not have something too big to feel bad about (I could have found something if I had tried, though! 
). As I realized that I was searching for some guilt I stopped myself and just gave me a mental pat on the back. Not necessarily for all that I did, but because I recognized how hard I am on myself!
So one of the things I’m doing with my new schedule is giving myself smiley faces for each thing I get done on the list. That may seem silly, but it’s more helpful to see all those happy faces than to see a bunch of stuff crossed out. I already feel like so much of what I do is fleeting– dishes get dirty, food gets eaten, kids get frustrated, house gets messy. It’s nice to have something to show for what I did accomplish, even if it is just a smiley face. 
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February 23, 2008 at 2:26 pm
Shirley
How fun, Em! And I just got the copy of your schedule that I requested because it sounded really cool. It is! I love it!! I love the simpleness, the colors, and the comprehensiveness of it. Good job! I can’t wait to put one together for me like that. My attempts at scheduling my life have never worked–too complicated and boring, I think. Yours is neither of those. Thank you!
And yeh, let’s “opt out!” My big one is fear–it’s a little different than guilt, though perhaps related to it. I’ve made progress but I think there are still aspects of my personality that I have not identified as fear but they are. I bet fear has been my “favorite” bad habit most of my life. Interesting to think of it like that…Thanks, Em–Love you, Mom
February 24, 2008 at 9:31 pm
Emily
Thanks, Mom. I’m glad you like my schedule. I like it too! Yeah, I’ve been learning over the last several years that guilt is really not productive, so I need to lose it!